


Space Oddity

by baekkieony



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 乐华七子NEXT | NEX7, 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Angst, Angst and Feels, Falling In Love, Feelings, Feels, Love, M/M, Non Graphic Death, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sad, Sad Ending, Space Ships, Unrequited Love, but also kind of happy, chengstin, its a bit fluffy if you squint, space themed, title stolen from david bowie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 16:38:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14958218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekkieony/pseuds/baekkieony
Summary: Have you ever felt cosmo inside of you?





	Space Oddity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosatine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosatine/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Near Misses](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15033701) by [rosatine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosatine/pseuds/rosatine). 



> A story where Chengcheng not only gets lost in space, but also in Huang Minghao's eyes.
> 
> gifted to @rosatine bc her/his first chapter of "near misses" broke my heart and inspired me so much at the same time, check the story out!

“Minghao, I can’t; I have to go and you know that”, Chengcheng sighed for what felt like the nth time in three minutes. “This is just an offer I can’t refuse”

Minghao, who was non-stop babbling before suddenly seemed very quiet, gulping loudly in the odd silence of their bunker in the military space academy of the federation.

“I-I know, but I just can’t believe you’ll be gone for almost an eternity”, his big, soft eyes appeared to be filled with tears and Chengcheng had to chuckle at the almost puppy like boy. He was really something, this man.

He leaned forward a bit, softly stroking the cheek of his best friend, before he whipped back on his feet and gave him a once over. He looked good in the navy blue commanding uniform, taking a very important (he didn’t know how high Minghao was exactly in ranks) place somewhere in the ground control station.

“Fifteen years isn’t an eternity, nor is it like we won’t see each other almost the whole day anyway. You can always send me a message from ground control or chat with me per video chat”, Chengcheng’s eyes went soft, even though his outside seemed so strong and hard all the time, but he was like a roasted toast; crusty on the outside and soft on the inside.

They hugged goodbye, for a long long time and Chengcheng winked and waved at Minghao before stepping on board on the space ship and excitingly waiting for the adventures; his journey to the farthest places in the milky way and he couldn’t wait to see purple bleeding in blue again, because this was what he missed so much on his time on earth to get fully educated; flying away in space like he was weightless.

~*~

“Ground Control to Major Fan”

“Major Fan here”

Chengcheng smiled at the big screen in his space ship, displaying Minghao’s face in a whole and he could see Minghao smiling back, still so beautiful even after a year has passed already and he was still in space and on his way.

“I see you got another wrinkle there, Chengcheng. Has space made you old already?”, Chengcheng would be offended if it wasn’t Minghao and if he didn’t see the mischievous sparkle in the corner of his eyes, but so he only chuckled and responded with a “you are the daily reason why I’m getting more and more of them”.

They talked and talked away, until it was time for Minghao to change shifts and Chengcheng wanted to get some sleep too, leaving the autopilot on. He didn’t know what time it was right now, because in space there was always night; sky always bleeding colours and he felt like he was out of a fairy tale, because he never believed he would be able to fly to the borders of the galaxy and now he was already on his way to cross them and explore what was behind.

Before Minghao had to go, he asked Chengcheng to show him how it looked outside and Chengcheng snickered, softly, because it was just a Minghao thing to want to know the sky, but never trying to experience it himself. He remembered that Minghao told him one day that he was happy in Ground Control, that he’d rather stay with his feet on earth instead in space. He was a man of solid things, while Chengcheng was a man of space. Of floating around in a tin can. Of testing his limits.

Minghao saw the impressive space, filled with endless stars and, who may have died million years ago already, of the earth far away, of the sun as a red, blazing fire ball hanging heavy in the air like it was going to explode any moment (even though they still had a ton of time left), of red bleeding yellow, bleeding purple, bleeding blue, bleeding black.

His eyes went wide and Chengcheng could see the admiration for this beauty, could feel it through the screen and he asked himself if Minghao had always looked this beautiful, if he had always looked this flawless and in glory, or if he was just blind the whole time.

“Chengcheng, i-it’s fantastic”

Chengcheng only nodded, because that was something he already knew. He stared out of his window, getting lost in the infinity of space and behind.

Minghao’s eyes went soft when he noticed how Chengcheng looked outside, went soft when he saw how much Chengcheng loved the space, went soft when he noticed how he was fascinated.

When Chengcheng turned around and their eyes met for a moment, gazes locked and they saw the universe in each other and even more, and for a small, small moment, Chengcheng felt something he would consider was very close to love.

After that, his screen turned off and he was alone in the darkness again, lost in the vacuum and travelling through space in the eternity, only the sun and the stars keeping him company.

He spent a look outside and sat straight in his seat again, even though no one was looking anymore. He had a mission, something he waited years for, he had to be passable every second. With excitement he awaited the darkness that was coming.

He had flown to the borders of the galaxy already. Now he was experiencing what was behind them.

~*~

“Logbook: Day 463 on Planet Alpha Zeta Cy; Major Fan here. Nothing special or bizarre yet. Nothing changed from the day before. The scenery is still dreary and bleak. Still the only living presence on this planet. No new species seen yet. Major Fan end”

This was not how he imagined his mission. He wanted to explore the universe, wanted to see aliens, wanted to bring new findings to the federation, not rotting on a desolated and withered planet with nothing but desert and desert and desert.

Nights were long on Alpha Zeta Cy, days only three hours or less short and hot, almost steady 100 degrees. Nights instead were cold, very cold, well below -10 degrees. The atmosphere was thin but breathable and humans would be able to live here, but no plant or such could grow here naturally and the difference between night and day was almost too hard to handle. Gravitation was almost the same as on the moon. He had already deemed the Planet uninhabitable, but the federation insisted on waiting another fifty days on this planet, before he could continue his search in the wide space.

It was not like he was already more than six years away from his home, from Minghao and his other friends and with the dreariness of this Planet he was going to go crazy without any human contact less than five hours a day.

So he talked to Minghao a lot, talked about how much he missed him and what he would do with him when Chengcheng was back and how he was going crazy there. One time, Minghao prevented Chengcheng from having a panic attack in his station he had built up on the Planet.

And today, Day 463 on this dead Planet, he looked Minghao in the eyes and saw how he had changed so much in his appearance, got only wiser and more handsome, but was still the same in Chengcheng’s eyes, still the same laugh and smile, still the same beautiful eyes and still the same way he talked too much and too less at the same time. His heart wrenched in guilt, because he had left him down there and also in homesickness and jealousy.

For Chengcheng, time had stopped since he left and he felt like he had altered not a bit and when he zoomed out when Minghao talked about his new puppy, Chengcheng realized that the weird fluttering in his stomach was not a disease, but love.

But considering the amount of miles they were apart and how Minghao had friends and maybe also a boyfriend and earth and also considering the fact that you just can’t love someone through a screen, Chengcheng decided to keep to himself and admire him from afar.

“Cheng”, Minghao said through the silence that had built up when Chengcheng was lost in his thoughts.

“Yeah”

“You gonna make it there, promise me”

“I will”

“Mhm”, Minghao answered thoughtfully and Chengcheng smiled.

“But only if you promise me that you’ll wait for me, down on earth”

“I will”

Chengcheng chuckled softly and held out his pinky finger.

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise”

~*~

One day, Chengcheng was in space again, now on the way to another planet in a different part of the universe, only three years left until he could go back, Minghao told him that he had got himself a puppy now, because it reminded him of Chengcheng. Chengcheng laughed at that but inside, he was really really happy.

~*~

“Major Fan to Ground Control?”

“Major Fan to Ground Control?”

“Ground Control here, what’s the problem?”, the man displayed on the screen was not Minghao and it almost made Chengcheng worry.

“I’m getting a lot of Hawking Radiation”, the man’s calm expression changed to an almost panicked one. Hawking Radiation wasn’t unusual for a black hole, so that probably meant that Chengcheng was close to one.

“Shit, that’s really a problem. I’m getting Admiral Huang”, the man ran off and another one took his place. It was kind of weird hearing Minghao being called by his last name.

When Minghao was there, they discussed the problem silently with some physicists and when they all looked up, their faces were tight and shut, not even Minghao showing a smile.

“We decided to get you back to earth now. Starting Project “Coming Home” at ten-forty-five”.

Chengcheng sighed. He could go back. He could go and see Minghao.

He nodded and the screen turned pitch black, almost like the space surrounding him.

Coming home.

He smiled. He was coming home.

~*~

"Ground Control to Major Fan?"

"Ground Control to Major Fan?"

"Ground Control to Major Fan, we really need an answer"

Chengcheng sighed and turned the screen off after hearing Minghao calling for him again. He was not in the mood for talking to Minghao. He was not in the mood for talking to anyone.

It hurts, he decided. Loving someone who's a million miles away. Someone who told him he would wait for him. Someone he wants to touch, but can't. 

Sometimes, love is pain, he realized.

He looked outside in the vast universe, and there's not even rain in space to share his loneliness, only the vacuum of darkness.

Space can be really lonely sometimes, even though there are enough Stars to keep him company.

~*~

Chengcheng really had a problem, he decided.

Instead of the Hawking Radiation slowly sinking, it was increasing more and more with every mile he made. It had been one month since Project “Coming Home” had started and he felt like he was inching closer and closer towards the black hole.

He had told the Ground Control multiple times that they should look for another route, but they said it was the “safest” and “fastest”.

He saw Minghao’s face clearly when his space ship inched forward at light speed, faster and faster, even though it looked like the universe was standing still outside and he was pulled by an invisible force. He imagined his smile and how he looked like an ugly baby when he cried.

It made him smile in this dark time, because when he called Ground Control the screen stayed pitch black.

~*~

“Ground Control to Major Fan?”

“Ground Control to Major Fan?”

“Major Fan here”, Chengcheng tried to make his voice sound steady, even thought that wasn’t easy when he was pulled into a black hole at more than lightening speed.

“You're getting sucked into a black hole”, Minghao’s voice seemed calm either, but the small trembling told Chengcheng that he was just as close to tears as Chengcheng.

“I also noticed that Minghao, it’s fat and black outside my windows”, Minghao gulped visibly on the screen.

“It’s Admiral Huang for you. You have to try and set all power into the engine and race at light speed in the opposite direction to escape the bl-”, Chengcheng interrupted him mid sentence.

“Don’t try and pull shit at me. I’m not calling you Admiral Huang, Minghao”

“But you-”

“I’m going to die, Minghao”, Minghao silenced instantly and then gulped again, because they both knew it was the truth.

“I know, but-”

“Please don’t cry. You try and imagine how a life with me would have been, imagine how all the happy things we had are living up again, imagine that the puppy you bought is me, but please don’t cry. I wouldn’t be able to bear that”, Minghao nodded slowly and snuffed silently.

They stared at each other for a while, silence filling up the eternity and Chengcheng mustered Minghao quietly, taking in all the details he could remember before it was too late.

“Did you ever notice that I love you”, the question itself seemed to surprise Minghao but not the content. He stared into Chengcheng’s eyes for a second, before his gaze went down to his fingernails.

“Yeah. On Alpha Zeta Cy. You weren’t exactly subtle”

“Did you ever feel the same”, Minghao looked up from his nails, now tears in the corner of his eyes.

“I thought the puppy was enough of a hint”

Chengcheng sighed, softly and he also felt tears in his eyes.

“It wouldn’t have ended good anyway, as you see”

“But we never tried!”, Minghao seemed angry, but all Chengcheng could see was Minghao’s beautiful face through the darkness sucking him in faster. “You always were too focused on space”

Chengcheng studied Minghao intently, how his eyebrows furrowed into a scowl when he was angry and how his rosy lips parted.

“I were always a man of the space and you were a man of ground. You have to see the opposites as much as the similarities. Where we didn’t fit, we completed each other”

“But still!”

His ship got faster and faster and Minghao went quiet, before he spoke up again.

“I’m going to miss you”

“Me too”

Minghao chuckled wearily and his gaze drifted away but then back to Chengcheng, seeing him running further into the black nothing.

“At least you die in space, the place you loved the most”, his gaze pierced into Chengcheng’s eyes, but his smile was strong through the tears.

Chengcheng smiled softly, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes.

“I never needed the universe, you were always enough”

And vast darkness filled up the silence on Chengcheng's screen.


End file.
